What do you say to the man who grandly offers to pay rent for having occupied your heart and space in your home? Smile, and walk away; your heart was never to-let!

That was the irony of love!

But what of marriage?

A friend called me because her marriage, unbeknownst to her had fallen apart. Unbeknownst, because she did not know, until she was served divorce papers by the man she cooked for, looked after, slept with and loved... or perhaps, I got the sequence wrong, can't say. The papers came all neatly packaged in a brown envelope and addressed to her. She had married a widower of three children and whose youngest was one year old. Now after 10 years of marriage and another child together, her beloved husband decided the children no longer needed a mother.
What do you say to a man who decides his wife of 10 yrs was only a glorified baby sitter?

I said, drag him through court... for having used all of her services and then more! Atleast, the little one would received what is rightfully hers.

Do pay offs make it better or demean what was to someone, a sacred thread? Do pay offs make it easier to salve one's conscience or instrumental in sustaining the definition of justice?

I suppose the equation of love and marriage changes as the term "mutually beneficial" reaches the tipping point to favor only one party at which point the" favored" realizes he/she nolonger needs the other, hence the payoff.

As Tina Turner sang soulfully, "What's love got to do with it?!"

Just another morbid topic for a dreary spring day!

No words can describe such selfishness. I would call him a wanker.

I said, drag him through court..>>>>
good !:o)

Sitara,

My take would be, drag his A55 to the court and make him pay for everything that the wife deserves as a legally wedded wife and not a f**king maid. Thats why women has this whole idea of men being morans and only because of these kind of f**king losers who don't know how to treat your own wife.

sitara
no offence, but aren't you making women folks vulnurable.
how can u say she was being used and misused( or similar words)
now i think for all the women need to make their own identity, so no any assh--e can demean or whatsoever them.
why do women fall in that kind of shit always.
i see there was the problem with that woman too.
let me quote
if someone fools you the first time it is totally his fault
if the sameone makes you fool again it is your fault

that is all i got to say

What if "Mother Nature" makes Male more sensitive than Female....

Is the world going to be same? Is this male supremacy going to be the same? Perhaps, in that case scenario, Male Sensitivity and Feeling would be considered the biggest asset that one possess.

SITARA JEE, hajur ko laagi hai yo reply chai.


She had married a widower of three children and whose youngest was one year old>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
Sitara jee, mero aangreji ali kaamjoor cha, tesaile maile bujheko thik ho ki hoina. Maile bujheko chai, "the guy whom she married to was already married and his wife is dead, and has three children from her. Nepali ma tellai khai k po bhanchan" J sukai bhanun. The question here is, Y did she marry him ? That's the reason I want, before coming to any conclusion. Now, is it only because she loved him ? Difficult to believe. But possibility is there.

I said, drag him through court... for having used all of her services and then more>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
Now, what I feel here is, u r asking your friend to take him to the court and make him pay for the services. So, it looks like here she is comparing herself with a maid, by asking for the pay for services. He is not the one who offered the pay, saying "here is the money for what you did for me" she is the one who will be saying "here is what I did for him and now he has to pay for my contribution." I am here not saying, what he did was good but also can't say what she would say would be good.

I suppose the equation of love and marriage changes as the term "mutually beneficial" reaches the tipping point>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
What I understood is, sitara jee is supposing, marriage is "mutually beneficial". Excuse me.................................. marriage is not a mutual fund, its not a business where two companies comes together for mutual benefit. Marriage is mutual support, morally, emotionally, physically, financially and what not, but not mutual benefit. If you think marriage is mutual benefit, it surely breaks apart like american cars.


Please don't mind if I have a different view and opinion

under the law, the wife is entitled to 50% of the money. while the betrayal and hurt she experienced is immense, all she can do now is to get as much out of the settlement as possible for her and her child's future.

as far as the idiot is concerned, all i can say is - what goes around, comes around. fate will surely fcuk him over too...

Yah. Just to second Harke Bro, taking him to court is not really practical... Courts are not created to deal with this kind of stuff...

Qs. for virtual reality: What makes u think that women are more sensitive than males? any studies to back your claim?

Qs. for newlynew: "taking him to court is not really practical... Courts are not created to deal with this kind of stuff..." Where else does one go if they want to get divorced if not to the courts?

Sitara sis, what is the reason for the guy filing for divorce? We are all quick to blame the husband in the story, methinks every story has two sides to it.

Well, you can certainly go to the court to get the divorce but it seems Sitara seems to imply getting more out of the court than just the divorce.

I sympathize with the women. Sounds like an abuse.

We need to hear the other side of the story to confirm.

Friends, thanks for reading!

Zalim Singh, I agree with you. When the court of ethics and morality fails, the Court of Law decides that the wife deserves 50% of everything.

Meera, good question. Another woman is involved!

Harke dai; what would you do? "Here honey, marriage is not a mutual fund, so you can leave with your daughter. Go back home to your parents. I'll keep the house, the car and the bank account." 'Cause that is what he said. He threatened her with deportation.

Anyways, just something that has been troubling my mind! :(

I truly appreciate your time and input.


Spring Break bhanya, ghaam pani lagya hoina. Ali ali tyo pani jiskyai jiskyai.

I wish I had a spring break regardless of the weather.

Hmmmmmmmmm a poignant tale. That Bas***d should pay his due.

And what's up with deportation sitara? Isn't she a citizen by now? Seems to me she has been in the country for long enough. Anyways, she's got to stand up for her rights. She owes that to her self respect and most importantly to her child's future.

Kasto bhate raicha jatha.

I empathize with her.

IndisGuise:(

Sitara Jee..

Really sorry to hear the story.... there are all kind of people in this world..... I have seen couple of examples similar to this. He cant deport her but what i will suggest is, she can consult some women organization and this way, she will get the legal rights to stay here as well as work authorization and court may keep the resortation order so he wont be able to threatened her any more and rest court is there. I think she has every rights to get the 50% of his personal property and keep the daughter and till the daughter became 18, he will have to pay the child support but he will not be able to meet her.

Only that from this side of the story but we dont know about other side. So at this point, we all are sorry for her.


And also ENJOY YOUR SPRING BREAK

Why is everyone sympathetic to this woman without knowing both sides of the story? I'm sure there are lot more you need to learn that has gone through during their 10 years of marriage before threatening to take someone to court.

I feel for the lady and wish her the best. It hurts but it is better go separate ways than to stay in a troubled marriage. It is surprising though that she didn't have a clue about it. So, if it was not a troubled marriage then something is not right with the guy. Shame on him. :(

Fact In US:
More women file for divorce than men.

this is called lesson learned the hard way.....the woman already knew what kind of situation she was getting herself into. so it is hard to sympathize her now for helping the man to raise his kids. i'm sure just like the man came with baggage, it would be naive to think the woman was all perfect and didn't have any baggage of herself, which was addressed by the man after their marriage... i think what her biggest mistake and what she failed to realize was that since the man had already left? (not sure if that was the case, but regardless of that), she already knew about the man and his previous marriage. so she has had to think if the man could leave? cheat? lose interest on? his last wife, why might he not do the same with her?? and it sounds like that?s kinda like what happen here.

without much further knowledge about case and with all due respect to both parties.....to me it sounds like a case of a risky investment....u had calculated the risks, you knew the odds weren't on your side, but if all worked it was going to yield higher return on your investment. so if we look at the lady in term of an investor, the market crashed and she now has to deal with great lose. may be this experience will help her out with her next investment.