http://sajha.com/sajha/html/openthread.cfm?threadid=82737

 

भाग १ र २ को अभुतपुर्ब सफलताको लागि सम्पूर्ण साझाबासी हरुलाई धन्याबाद ज्ञापन गर्दै अर्को भाग प्रस्तुत गर्दै छु !

Three gay men died, and were going to be cremated. Their lovers happened to be at the funeral home at the same time, and were discussing what they planned to do with the ashes.
The first man said, "My Benny loved to fly, so I'm going up in a plane and scatter his ashes in the sky."

The second man said, "My Carl was a good fisherman, so I'm going to scatter his ashes in our favorite lake."

The third man said, "My Jim was such a good lover, I think I'm going to dump his ashes in a pot of chili, so he can tear my ass up just one more time."

dhwase bro you should post the other two links here too.

I went into the Shell gas station this morning and asked for five dollars worth of gas.
The clerk farted and gave me a receipt.

A construction worker came home just in time to find his wife in bed with another man. So he dragged the man down the stairs to the garage and puts the guy's dick in the clamp. He secured it tightly and removed the handle. Then he picked up a hacksaw.

The man, terrified, screamed, "STOP! STOP! YOU'RE NOT GOING TO.. TO.. CUT IT OFF, ARE YOU???!?"

The husband said, with a gleam of revenge in his eye:

"Nope. You are. I'm going to set the garage on fire."

lol...

Once there was a homeless person named Santa Singh . One evening a tourist saw him lying asleep on the street on the cold  and out of pity, put $20 next to him. When Santa woke up after a while , saw the money and he straight went to a local bar and asked what can he get for that amount.

"Try this", said barman, and mixed him up a dry martini.
He thought it was great and he felt warm and  about an hour later, he was asleep on the street, dead drunk. The same tourist was returning back drunk from a party and saw santa lying on the street and he thought of giving him a quickie in his ass while he was out cold. After that he again put $20 dollars next to him. Next night, Santa returned to the bar and got stuck into the martinis again. As before, he finished up dead drunk. The same guy had his way again with his ass. This went on for a week.
When Santa came back on the eight night, the barman started mixing the martinis as soon as he walked through the door.
"Can I have a scoth tonight!", he said. "Those martinis make my ass sore!"

A young man went to the psychiatrist complaining that he was getting married and he was worried about the small size of his penis. The psychiatrist advised him to go and stay on a dairy farm, and every morning, dip his penis in milk and get it sucked by a calf.
Some time later, the young man met the psychiatrist in the street.
"How's the marriage going?", asked the psychiatrist.
"I never got married", said the young man. "rather I have a cow farm now."

Sajha.com sanga kura garera "Dhwase joke" section kholnu bhannu parla jasto chha

check this out guys

hehe harkey bro, ustai ustai ho , enjoy the thread !!!

The young parents used code words when discussing sex in front of their children. The terms for intercourse ws "washing machine".
They were lying in bed one night when he said to her, "Darling, washing machine."
"Not now, I've got a headache", she replied.
An hour later, he ran his hand down her leg and said, "Darling, washing machine, please! washing machine."
"I've got a headache!", she complained.
An hour later, feeling sorry for him, she turned to him and said, "O.K. washing machine."
"Don't worry", he replied, "it was a small load so I did it by hand."

just one cartoon!

A kindergarten teacher comes to class and says, "Today class I am going to give you a letter of the alphabet and I want you to give me a word that begins with that letter." She begins with the letter "A" and all the kids raise their hands. There is one kid in the back named Johnny that is real eager to answer the question, but the teacher knows that he is always vulgar and likes to use obscenities so she chooses on little Mary to answer. Mary stands and says, "A...Apple" The teacher replies, "That's great, Mary, good job." So she moves on to the letter "B", and again Johnny is still eager to answer the question, but the teacher is sure that he will probably say "Bitch" or something like that so she calls on Todd. Todd says, "B...Baseball." And the teacher replies, "Good Job, Todd." So they start going through the alphabet and the class' attention dwindles, except for Johnny. The teacher comes to the letter "R" and no one, except for Johnny, is raising their hand so she is forced to call on him. "Okay Johnny, what starts with R?" she says. "R...Rat" Johnny replies. "Rat, ...that's it...rat?" the teacher questions with astonishment. "Yeah," says Johnny, "Big-ass mother-[Disallowed String for - bad word]in' rat with a dick 12 inches long."

A horse and a chicken are playing in a meadow. The horse falls into a mud
hole and is sinking. He calls to the chicken to go and get the farmer
to help pull him out to safety. The chicken runs to the farm but the
farmer can't be found. So he drives the farmer's Mercedes back to the
mud hole and ties some rope around the bumper. He then throws the other
end of the rope to his friend, the horse, and drives the car forward
saving him from sinking! A few days later, the chicken and horse were
playing in the meadow again and the chicken fell into the mud hole. The
chicken yelled to the horse to go and get some help from the farmer.
The horse said, "I think I can stand over the hole!" So he stretched
over the width of the hole and said, "Grab for my 'thingy' and pull
yourself up." And the chicken did and pulled himself to safety.

The moral of the story:

If you are hung like a horse, you don't need a Mercedes to pick up chicks.

A man playing on a new golf course got confused as to what hole he was
on. He saw a lady playing ahead of him. He walked up to her and asked
if she knew what hole he was playing. She replied, "I'm on the 7th
hole, and you're a hole behind me, so you must be on the 6th hole." He
thanked her and went back to his golf.

On the back nine, the
same thing happened, and he approached the lady again with the same
request. She said, "I'm on the 14th, you are a hole behind me, so you
must be on the 13th." Once again he thanked her.

He finished his
round and went into the club house and saw the lady sitting at the end
of the bar. He went up to her and said, "Let me buy you a drink to show
my appreciation for your help." He started a conversation and asked her
what kind of work she did. She said she was in sales, and he said he
was in sales also. He asked what she sold.

She replied, "If I told you, you would only laugh."

"No, I wouldn't," he said.

She said, "I sell tampons."

With that he fell on the floor laughing so hard.

She said, "See, I knew you would laugh."

"That's not what I'm laughing at," he replied. "I'm a toilet paper salesman, so I'm STILL one hole behind you!"

Two men met in heaven and struck up a conversation.How did you die the first man asked? i froze to death, the second answered. To which the first man asked again, how does it feel do freeze to death? At first it was extremely cold, then afterwards i lost all feeling and i died. 
By the way how did you die? the second man asked, i had a heart attack, you see i had long suspected my wife of cheating on me, so one day i came home unexpectedly and knew i had finally found her in the act. 
I run to the back of the house and found no one, then i came back in and while i was going upstairs to check in the attic i had a heart attack and died. 
That's ironical said the second man, if you had just stopped to check in the fridge, we would both still be alive!!

A girl asks her boyfriend, to come over Friday night and have dinner with her parents. Since this is such a big event, the girl announced to her boyfriend that after dinner, she would like to go out and make love for the first time. Well, the boy is ecstatic, but he has never had sex before, so he takes a trip to the pharmacist to get some condoms. The pharmacist helps the boy for about an hour. He tells the boy everything there is to know about condoms and sex. At the counter, the pharmacist asks the boy how many condoms he'd like to buy: a 3-pack, 10-pack, or a family pack. "I'm really going to give it to this girl," the boy tells the pharmacist. "I intend to go for hours and hours." The pharmacist, with a laugh, suggests the family pack, saying the boy will be rather busy, it being his first time and all. 

That night, the boy shows up at the girls parents house and meet his girlfriend at the door. "Oh I'm so excited for you to meet my parents, come on in!" The boy goes inside and is taken to the dinner table where the girl's parents are seated. The boy quickly offers to say grace and bows his head. A minute passes, and the boy is still deep in prayer with his head down. 10 minutes passes and still no movement from the boy. Finally, after 20 minutes with his head down, the girlfriend finally leans over and whispers to the boyfriend, "I had no idea you were this religious. " The boy turns, and whispers back, "I had no idea your father was a pharmacist!!"

An old man was sitting on a bench at the mall. A young man walked up to the bench and sat down. He had spiked hair in all different colors:green, red, orange, blue, and yellow. 

The old man just stared. 

Every time the young man looked, the old man was staring. 

The young man finally said sarcastically, "What's the matter old timer, never done anything wild in your life?" 

Without batting an eye, the old man replied, "Got drunk once and had sex with a peacock. I was just wondering if you were my son."

Two leprochans have a bet. To settle their bet, they take it to a convent. Mother Suprior answers the door, and says "Oh my goodness! Its a leprochan!"
The firt Leprochan replies, "Take it easy sister, I only wanna ask you a qustion. Are there any nuns in your convent that are my size?"
"No, little man, there is no nuns in my convent that are your size."
"Alright then. Are there any nuns in all of Ireland, that are my size?"
"No, little man, there are no nuns in all of Ireland that are your size."
"Alright then. One more question: Are there any nuns in all of the world, that are my size?"
"No, little man, I am quite sure there are no nuns in all of the word that are your size!"
"Okay then." The second leprochan starts laughing his ass off. But through the laughter, he manages to say "You see, i told you [Disallowed String for - bad word]ed a penguin!"

thanks guys  !!! , here is one for the day

"Oh no, it's my husband!", she said to her boyfriend on hearing the front door slam. "Quick hide in the wardrobe!"
He grabbed his clothes and dashed from the bed to the wardrobe. After a few minutes, another voice said quietly, "It's damn dark in here, isn't it?"
The man, shivering in the nude, said, "Who's there?"
The little voice replied, "Give me $50 and I won't yell out to Dad and tell him who you are."
In no position to argue, he handed over the money, and at the appropriate time made a quick dash out the window.
The following week, Junior came home with a brand new set of roller blades. His mother queried, "Where did you get the money for those?"
"I had $50", he replied.
"Where did you get that kind of money?", but Junior wasn't telling.
Convinced her son was up to no good, she ordered him to go to Church. "Confession will fix you up, my boy. You'll have to tell the Priest", and she pushed him into the confessional box and shut the door.
"It's damn dark in here", he said out loud.
"Now, don't start that again!, I already paid you enough", said the Priest.

A husband and wife were sitting watching a TV program about psychology when he turned to his wife and said, “Honey, I bet you can’t tell me something that will make me happy and sad at the same time.”

She said, “You have the biggest penis of all your friends.”

Three mice are sitting in a bar in a pretty rough neighborhood late at night trying to impress each other about how tough they are. The first mouse slams a shot of scotch, and pounds the shot glass to the bar, turns to the second mouse and says: "When I see a mousetrap, I get on it, lie on my back, and set it off with my foot. When the bar comes down, I catch it in my teeth, and then bench press it 100 times."

The second mouse orders up two shots of tequila. He grabs one in each paw, slams the shots, and pounds the glasses to the bar. He turns to the other mice and replies: "Yeah, well when I see rat poison, I collect as much as I can and take it home. In the morning, I grind it up into a powder and put it in my coffee so I get a good buzz going for the rest of the day."

The first mouse and the second mouse then turn to the third mouse. The third mouse lets out a long sigh and says to the first two, "I don't have time for this bullshit. I gotta go home and f**k the cat."