Being single or staying single is becoming more common these days for both women and men. In the western world, it is a choice of living for many. In Bangladesh, being single is more circumstantial rather than a choice. Two most generic reasons for being single are, not finding the right partner to live with, or getting a divorce. We would like to take a look at the hard facts of staying single; how the society is treating a single person, especially single woman. This is a huge area of discussion; therefore, we invite our readers to put their thoughts into this.

I know a Bangladeshi woman, highly educated, never got married. I know another woman who was once married, now divorced. Both are independent, holding good professional positions in two different cities in the US. And yet, they both carefully avoid the Bengali communities in their areas. Because people would bad-mouth, talk against their backs only because they are single. Bangladeshi single women whether they live in Bangladesh or in the western countries, face similar difficulties. Whether she is unmarried or divorced, the society would try to blame her. If she is highly educated, the society would blame her education and independence for her single being.

I was reading one of our bloggers’ comments on the previous discussion, When to get married: Before or after graduation? In the response no. six, our blogger made a good point: In many Asian and Middle-eastern cultures, an unmarried woman is called many bad names behind her back. She is treated like an outcast. She does not get any help from people of her own cultural/religious backgrounds. ….. Wouldn’t this world be a better place if they just showed some genuine compassion and care to an unmarried woman?

Staying single is associated with many difficulties, both financial and emotional. Let’s not make it more difficult by adding social stigma to it. Single woman should not keep herself away from enjoying life. To all single women, please be outspoken, outgoing, get involved with things that you have always liked to do. Get involved in organizational and community activities! If you happen to find someone you can count on, take the share of your life with him. Finally, please be independent! No matter in what society you are in, try to get financial independence first. Rather than being at the mercy of the society, please take the charge of your own life; make your place stronger in the society!

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How does the nepalese community view single Nepalese women??

Staying single and partying is so 90s.Remember "Seinfield" and "Sex and the City".
Now we have "Desperate Housewives " and celebrity moms.
Ha ha ha .
Jokes apart, it is a personal choice and everybody should respect it.

yeah it's a personal choice:-)

forget the societal views

given everybody chooses his/ her path...i don't see why ppl should scorn single women...as said above "it's a personal choice"...some ppl like to rush and others just like to lay back and take their time...or even better, enjoy the life-long single status ...:)

There are nosy, sometimes mean, people in every society who are quick to pronounce judgement about others and I am sure Bangladeshi and Nepali societies are no exceptions. Even in the US, where there is a higher acceptance of different types of lifestyles, you often come across people who tend to be judgemental, often times behind the backs of others, about being single, divorced, fat, gay, not having children or anything the other person is that they are not. Thankfully, you tend to come across such people in fewer numbers in the west, but they do exist because it's only human to try and feel good about yourself by looking down on others.

That said, I agree it is a matter of personal choice and if somebody can't accept your choice then that is their problem and they can go to hell for all you care.

Avanni - Scorn single women? Some might but not me. I thank my lucky stars every day for them! :)

Kidding ;)

US stop trying to sell your chinese made babies to us!!!

captain haddock--- i meant why look down upon women with "single" status k....."i thank my luck stars for them." hehehe...so do i, but for the opposite gender ..*hint.hint*..in jest

I knew exactly what you meant - I was only picking on your statement to make a point of levity - wicked me I suppose ;)

BTW, good luck in finding yours! Share your success story with us,ok?

To good life.

:)

thanx!..good luck to u as well....and with an earnest request like urs...i sure will keep u posted...but mind u, that might be one of ur longest wait :P
btw...i feel u could do so much better w/o the "Satan-in-disguise" act ...:)
just out of curiosity, u write blogs?

Avani -

"Satan-in-disguise"?

Ouch! Bringing out the heavy artillery now, huh? :)

I used to do a bit of blogging in the past but not anymore. It got to be too time consuming. Plus, to be honest, I ran out of ideas to blog about pretty soon after I started. When you are not blogging anonymously, I found you've got to be a bit sensitive about what you say, otherwise you will have no friends and well-wishers left, and unfortunately, I am terrible when I try to be sensitive and can't speak my mind. So here I am on Sajha, relishing the privileges of anonimity, mingling with other anonymous minds, unconcerned about what I say and to whom I say.

Do/did you blog?

nops...not till now...but hope to pretty soon...and of course with a pseudonym ..i kinda take pleasure in that mysterious aura....
do let me know where u blogged, i'd like to read 'em..if thats ok with u.....its fun..and makes me aware of my shortcomings..hehe

I am not sure if any of that stuff is around anymore. It was mostly on blogspot, yahoo, and google. Honestly, there isn't anything worth reading there. It was mostly rants and raves about all and sundry. Google "the rants of an eccentric Nepali blogger" and you might just come across it! :) I lost the one I had on yahoo because of account inactivity :-|

Hey, btw, I am a few chapters into Freakonomics, if you recall from another thread. It's pretty amusing.

Have a good weekend!

tough luck!...googled it..wasn't much help though.. saw a politically charged blogger in e-blogger who went by the name "nepali blogger"...but i doubt thats u...

freakonomics!! never went beyond the first few pages as the weekend ensued promising fun-filled days...then i got to reading J.d. salinger's The Catcher in the Rhye..which definately was a good read... apparently reminded me of my "best time of life"...

have a great weekend!

Staying single is your choice. Whatever makes you happier. I think in nepal, woman who stays unmarried are called "budhi kanya". Haven't heard anyone giving bad name to a single woman. People talk behind your back even if you're next to perfect. It's not possible to impress everyone.

Av, mere humdum (btw I have not seen humdrum lately) do you mind me spilling the beans?:P
Captain_Haddock (your name says everything :)), her satan -in-disguie is none other than you re kya. Don't mind my blabber cos I tend to get carried away sometimes, but that was a pure compliment. Been an ardent fan of yours. People like you and few more others make our visit worthwhile.

Have a great weekend!

flippu!! "humdum" huh...i like that ;) ...u back from work?? ...will have to buzz u ..whats up with "spilling the beans?" humm..i wonder. hehe...

btw..happy dashain!! will miss ur company..

Good choice

Oh my,my! Flip Flop, I thought I was the one with the wicked streak but it looks like when it comes to formenting mischief, someone is way ahead of the curve, huh?

LOL!

PS: I admire your incredible sense of humour and modesty.

:)

Ratobhaley, and your sense of humor, is pretty dry.