Folks,

I need your help on this. Me and my lady is having problem in money issue. We have a combined account.
If I spend some money on my family or myself (in helath club and fitness) she becomes mad and we have a big fight. I have totally stopped spending money on my family now (which is not a big issue). She doesn't let me spend money on what I enjoy or love to do. My passion is music and I wanted to buy a guitar. She doesn't let me buy one.I don't restrict her spend money on her interests or on her personal development. Infact I encourage her to do that. I understand we are tryting to save money to buy house, but can she be
really making an issue if I spend money on my health club or fitness plan? Not to mention I am gaining weight like crazy and I need to take severe charge against my health or there might be a possible heart attack down the road. Another thing, I am not a huge spender either. I don't spend crazily on everything.

That said, I bring home around $1000 dollar more per month than she does. Separating account probably is good interms of your freedom of spending money on what you love to do but I really don't like the idea of seperating account since I feel, this way eventually you will seperate from your spouse as well especially when you tend to do things seperately. I personally believe marriage
is to do things together.

I am not sure if she still loves me. Because if she does why wouldn't she let me make my choices. Why is she controlling my life? I am very frustrated. I kind of feel like my life is empty.

Can you guys please help? Are you among the married ones having same issue? How have you dealt with on this situation?

I saw a man beating his wife in  in front of 100's of people in crowded Sydney train just 2 months ago.He was yelling , maaaa----  jaha paye tehi kharcha naagaar bhaeko hoina, tero account mali herna de bhaeko hoina, ani bicharaaa keti was going tyaso na bhanisyos na aaba dekhi gaardina, then he shouted and beat her.

all the khaires were shocked  and some were trying to call the police. I saw all the drama, laaj lagyo . 2 barsa pachi Australai gayeko, bekar gaye jasto lagyo

anyway coming to the point you need to sit down, I think your wife has  problems, She needs help.Having said that try opening different accounts and commit a monthly or weekly amount that goes into the joint account.Some women feel very very insecure if man try to spend their income.Do you or did you try to spend her portion of Income( after spend your portion on household expenses).
Really talk in the only way.

Wish you the best.

Thanks guys. You guys are awesome. Thank you for reading the post and making excellent suggestions.

I have to tell you this: After reading all the suggestions, I am confused now regarding what needs to be done.

I think I will seek counselor help now.

You guys are the best.

 

 

 

Dallas guy i think its not a good thing to post ur personal matter and relationship on such a thread.If u r facing a problem like this then u can easily talk to her and convince her on this matter.I saw so many comments above relating to spend money on several things.Some people said that its better to turn to next woman and some adviced to choose a lawyer for divorce.Its not a big issue to have divorce and turn to the next.So think once to post such a very personal issue on this public place.

It means i dont want to blame the persons who r just giving their ideas on this.Whatever they thought they gave from their side.But u have to filter from them and think for the best which can make u both happyU r a educated person so u should be able to manage such a small problems yourself not with the common view.

Ghar jhagada jaha pani hunchha,ani sano tino kura lai public issue banayera public solution khojnu teti ramro hunna."Logne swasni ko jhada paralko aago".So milayera kura garnus pakkai pani yeha ko wife le bujhnuhunchha.Dont forget that u r a nepali not an american guy that u can exercise the endless oppotunity in case of completing the one relationship and starting the next one.U have already mentioned that u had taken a promise  to be with her till ur life in front of god  and mass of people while marrying her.So think for it.

good luck to have a good relation for ever

Amiran Jee,

Thank you for your comments. I don't see any problems posting personal issue in the public place and seeking for advise and suggestions. I personally think you need to share your personal problems/feelings and get opinions from the public and then do the best judgement. If I was able to handle this problem on my own, I wouldn't have post this message on Sajha. And I think you understand that very well.

For those , who don't have dare to come forward with their marital problems  in public, they will just hide within themselves with stress and its not good for your health. People might fake saying their marriage is perfect and they are the best couple but they know inside what they are going through and how unhappy they are.

I will tell you this. People can only tolerate to some extent and everything has its limit. When the limit is crossed, I won't have any choices but to make some tough decisions. And at that time, you might have to forget your promises and vows that you did infront of your friends and families and move on with your life.

Thanks again~

 

dallas_guy, agreed. i see no harm in posting your problems and asking for suggestions.
 your laying it out in public, but not really. you don't know who i am and viceversa. your friends and family won't know, your wife won't find out. so who cares! it's just asking for some good suggestion here. you need to be able to filter it out as someone pointed. posting here is way better than keeping it to yourself or sharing it to your friends. personally i hate to share every single problem in lovelife with friends. no matter how good your friends are, they'll make something out of it.
coming back to your issue, a lot of people have given you real good suggestions. it's a common problem among couples. good communication is the key. from your posts i can see that you are a pretty reasonable man with a sense of nepalipan(which some ppl seem to forget). anyways, had it been your gf, your better off without her. but since she's your wife, you should work it out. setting the priorities for both of you. you let go a little and she'll let go a few things. it's all about how well you can compromise.

i would have fu@ked that kind of wife whole night and get a guitar out of her pu$$y. as simple as that.