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kanchi
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Posted on 09-16-04 4:12
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Women out there!! Can you gimme one good reason to celebrate Teej? Thanks.
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The postings in this thread span 2 pages, go to PAGE 1.
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nO_wAy
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Posted on 09-17-04 12:51
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Crisha ji, that was sooo gr8. Ur both post were amazing, i even dont hav word to describle. U hav changed my way of viewin' 'bout teej from today, now. Gr8 responce......... Cheers to Teej :)
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UnknownKT
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Posted on 09-17-04 12:54
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Since I'm very fortunate and now that i have learned about self repect and individual's respect and their rights.... I would rather try conveying message than give up and follow the rudibadiparampara..................................you know what ghampani is so right when he said"when are the husbands going to pray, celebrate or starve for the long life, good health of their wives? And what do yo mean by an ordinary american changing husband every year? At least they have the freedom to do that if they are not happy, and don't get treated right by their husbands. Do the women in Nepal have that choice, huh? While the husband stays out most of the times with his friends, gets drunk, gambles, gets involved in infidelity and comes home to treat the wife bad, she still has to love him, be faithful and live with him, and wait for that one day to celebrate a short freedom? What are you talking about Crishna? Give our women freedom to live and then they don't have to wait for this one day. "
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Banwarilal
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Posted on 09-17-04 1:02
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Aray baaf re baaf, yo jagaha ma ta bhukamp gayi rahechha unnecessarily. Jhagada nagari halnus aafu aafu ma. Ta mero advice yo chha ki man lage barta basi halne, man nalage barta nabasi linay. Man lagchha bhane naach gaan garera ramailo pani gari halnus...ta woh kathmandu me chha ni mandiir.....shiv ko mandir....aray kasto naam bhuli hale....haan pashuati nath ji ko ma pani gayi halnus, tara swastha ko khyal nagarera barta basda bahut musibat khada bhailina sakchha, tyasma prekaution lee halnu uchit hunchha.
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hurray
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Posted on 09-17-04 1:05
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Teej is the hindu version of "Girls Gone Wild."
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scatterbrain
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Posted on 09-17-04 1:08
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I am not sure about Teej influencing the divorce rate in Nepal, but crisna did put Teej in sociocultural perspective in Nepal. I guess the significance of teez gets marginalized in urban pockets, where folks have no need for "Datiun", celebrations such as those mentioned by crisna are aplenty to keep people amused all year round, and twisting to the tunes flaring out of speakers in a dingy clubroom makes more sense than singing and dancing in veneration to the Lord. If it is the urban cultural conditioning that makes one not see the importance of Teej, do we send that person to the inquisition? I think not. Understand the differences and learn from it before you place blame where it does not belong. - Scats
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crishna
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Posted on 09-17-04 1:42
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Ok guys I quit..... You guys talk like politicians.....do that and do this.......and then this will happen, but they never do a thing because they know it is not possible. YOu guys saying educate them, give them a freedom, do that for thme and .....In country like nepal it is not possible. I am not talking about the only unknown KT or anybody who think have the freedom to do whatever and enjoy it. I have no say for person talking about "freedom", which I don't understand. I guess you mean to say women in villages should go to bar around the villages and have party and disco near the khola......... It would be great to have that but in the languge of politicans only. I think main problem is the way I think and you guys think, you guys probly never stepped in the village area of Nepal. SO NO POINT OF DISCUSSION. Sorry if I heart somebodis personal freedom. Shanti shanti shanti.....
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DP
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Posted on 09-17-04 1:44
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I want to add a few more reasons: 1) To meet their sisters, cousins, and childhood friends ( remember our rural women don't have emails and cell phones to contact friends) 2) To escape from the hardship of everyday life (even if it is for a day or two) 3)To meet parents and relatives 4) To eat descent food (remember buharis don't/didn't even get enough food..forget about delicious food) 5) Fasting (most probably for health reason) 6) Datiwan to brush their teeth (they didn't/don't have electric toothbrushes) 7) About husbands being abusive....(Sasus ( women) are more likely to abuse buharis.So, it is women torturing women more than men torturing women.) 8) In our male dominant culture ( at least in the past) there might have been some other "not-so-good" reasons behind fasting, but that alone doesn't make Teej so unnecessary. 9)It is a tradition they want to continue(what is your freaking problem?), if are free not to celebrate it. 10) And I am also fasting by the way, I need to keep myself (and my system) fit so that I can be more active and keep my wife HAPPY as she is...heheheh. DP
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kanchi
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Posted on 09-17-04 1:50
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Crishna, To your comment "I cannot believe that kanchi (supposedly Nepali cheli) can put such kind of thread and there will be a line of sheep supporting that" I say, WAKE UP AND SMELL THE COFFEE!! I think you definitely fall into the MCP (Male Chauvinistic Pig) bucket!! Peace Everyone!!
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UnknownKT
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Posted on 09-17-04 1:54
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My point is not about stopping celebrating teej My point is do they want to celebrate???? if they do for the all the above reasons then that's great what I'm saying is if they didn't want then they should be not outcasted........ i want or i wish or i wonder if they know this is the decision you make not your sasu makes for you or that's listed on the agreement on your marrige recipt if you want to fast you can in the other hand if you do not you do not... and i know it's not like that in nepal even kathmandu..........so i don't know what to say I'm really sorry that it is like that
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crishna
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Posted on 09-17-04 1:56
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Kanchi, hellooooooo I am fighting for women her, how can I be male chuvinistic Pig? By the way I am human not a pig. Happy living in USA
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confused
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Posted on 09-17-04 1:58
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kta kt ho je chij ni AMRICAN para le hernu hudaina k... and yah DP. has some very very good points.... and yes kt ho make ur husband fast with u..
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confused
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Posted on 09-17-04 2:01
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Unkown KT good point..but again here yes u can..no one will outcast u..or even in KTM ..no one will outcast u, certainly they will talk abt u, but in rural areas..i guess u have to its a social pressure, U HAVE TOO! and plus its a man dominated society..so that makes a big difference too..
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rajesh_karki
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Posted on 09-17-04 2:02
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All the culrural events might not have obivious resons. If you wanna reason for cultural events, a lot of things do not make sense in pure scientific terms. For example 1. What is the reason to celebrate New Year ? Why is new year day anything different that any ordinary day ? 2. Why do sradha for dead parents ? They are already dead and there is now way they are gonna get the cow you give to a pandit. It is the pundit who is gonna get. There are so many things that do not have scientific reasons to do it. I believe the only reson you should do it if it makes you feel good and it brings some value to yourself, sociery and people surrounding you. So if teej brings some happiness in woman, absolutely no harm celebrating. Please do not politicize Teej as a context to bash man........... Thanks
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confused
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Posted on 09-17-04 2:05
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totally dude, tyo m**Ji mareko manche lai chahine nachaine..k ko dhacho.. tesko na feeling cha na kehi cha....mariskakeko manche lai k ko shraddha :P :P
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DP
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Posted on 09-17-04 2:39
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I had been in trouble once while talking (radically) about Sraddha. I asked my neighbor why he was giving away stuffs in his dad's Sraddha. He told me that his dad would get the stuffs, if he gave those to the Pundit. And the toung-slip happened.I asked him: "Why don't you give your mother to Pundit so that your dad will get his wife?". And immediately, I was in trouble. DP.
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Gham-Pani
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Posted on 09-17-04 3:08
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If someone wants to celebrate Teej in her own way, she has the right to do so. If the reason for it is to meet her parents, eat delicious food, get away from the hard daily chores for a day, then good for her. Celebrating Teej for the long life of a husband is also good for whoever wants to celebrate. But the latter reason from my point of view is very sexiest and should not be held as THE reason, or at all. If the women want to go to bars in villages and dance next to kholas, they have the right to do so, for the are not hurting anyone. And Crishna, it is good that you are fighting for women. But to imply "that's the way it is in nepali society, and should be the way" shows you are reluctant to change. Everyone is a part of society. If everyone waits for the society to change without changing his/her self, the society never changes. I remember an incident when one of the male family friends I knew declined to touch his son-in-laws feet during his daughter's (love marriage) wedding because he was Brahmin and his son-in-law a chhetri. When I asked him if he would allow his son to marry an untouchable, he said no. He said if someone else who is a brahmin in the society does it then he will allow his son. What I am trying to say is, we make a society, so why cannot we be the change?
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crishna
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Posted on 09-17-04 3:46
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Gham Pani I agree with you. I also want to have all the nepalese to enjoy the life as people do in rich counties. But again come to the reality, it doesnt seem possible even in hundred years. You should be aware of the neplai politicains. I personally never will force anybody to do fasting for me. But here there is no personal interest. I am talking about very real situation of a conditin of women in general Napli home (Please don't post somebody saying that "condiiton of women in my home is very good"). They are in amazingly bad situation. Even if I wish to change that situation I am not capable of doin that. The only point bothered me is that if somebody says women of nepal have rights to do this and that........hey guys come to the reality. We few are chating and wasting our on the internet is not going to do anything, its like netaji giving speach. My only point in all discussion is just dont think with your mind set in western culture. Think putting in yourself in the real situation. Look at the data given by UN in 1988. The situation is same even today. and will be same in 100 years. Jaaga jaaga nepali ho. Gender differentiated involvement in activities Tasks Female Male Agriculture x x Fuelwood collection xx x Water collection xx x Grass collection xx x Leaf fodder collection xx x Food processing xx x Cooking xx x Various domestic xx x xx/x = relative involvement Source: based on Kumar and Hotchkiss, 1988
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Pisces
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Posted on 09-17-04 5:03
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I am with you Crishna. Teej is not just a decade old tradition. Its been passes over from century to century. Still back in Nepal women celebrate it as one of our important tradition of our culture and it should be withhold by generation and generation to come. Its no way, can be riducule as long as our mothers and wives are happy to celebrate. As MM says, ya eventually teej been diverted as tradition which symbolize men superiority and absolutely true, it was imposed by so called hypocrate bunch. Crishna you are right, as long been seen nepali women's plight in most part of country, the only the day that brings smile in their face is Teej. They eat, they dance, they unite and what not. The reason they take fasting, after the "DAAR KHANE DIN" is to keep themself healthy after eating voraciously night before. Thats the reason women go on fasting. And its brata to SHIVA, not to the HUSBAND, ofcourse they pray for their husband's long life. Women have been always great in Hindu Culture one way or the other. They have always showed their responsibility either as a Wife or as a Didi and always as a Mother. As long as our wives and love ones do not have problem to go on fasting during Teej, we as their husband/Love shouldn't take it merely as a grant. In the return we should respect their their concern and devotion. Therefore guys do not go to BHATTI AND DANCE RESTURANT at least that day while your wife is prayin on ur behalf.
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Moneyminded
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Posted on 09-17-04 5:23
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So conclusion is fasting or non fasting........hajur ko bichaar..........so lets say ppl who have pager, mobile they should not celebrated tej coz they can communicate and ppl living in rural part of nepal they should coz they feel happy to see family members and frens...........\ lau hai........teej ko lahar aayo bari lai teej ko lahar aayo bari lai common guys let go t pashupati and have some side scene
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Pisces
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Posted on 09-17-04 5:44
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Hehehehehehe... Fantastic MM. We are not being bias over who should celebrate and who shouldn't. We are talking about centuries told tradition. I guess, then non has mobile and pager to interact. So we r now loaded with gadgets and gizmo, doesn't necessarily mean we should terminate our tradition and believes. And their is no complusion and mandatory laws that one should celebrate, its individual wish and will. But bro, how many nepali women nepali women do think, have seen a pager ? i dont even want to mention a mobile. M&M why not we wait until all the nepali women have c either a pager or a cell phone and let them start E-TEEJ, lol. Sajha forum would be great to celetrate E-Teej-jha hehehehehehe.
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