I have been dating this guy for few months, to describe him, he is average looking, well, his table manners are disgusting and he has never paid for my dinner, the only thing he bought for me was $4 candlestand on my birthday. His positive sides are that he is calm, well educated and well travelled, thats about it..Anyways, coming to the topic, he always prioritizes his friends before me and likes to party out. We just get to meet for like 2 hours on the weekend.Last night, when i had enough of him, I couldnt handle my anger, i was jumping up and down with anger, screaming and calling him names, while he was trying to hold me, i took out my lipstick and drew all over his face and then asked him to leave my place.. He was calm throughout and i cant believe he wants me back, I kinda feel ashamed of how i handled the situation, ohh help me how i should control my anger and ohh i miss him.. what wud u have done? i know im crazy:(

Lemme ask u this. Would u have been okay had he thrown similar tantrum and painted ur face with eyeliner all over?

U prolly would say, yes. But let's make a more practical comparison, would u be ok ...let's say u both got married hypothetically, and he still spends a lot of time with his friends...though he is not cheating on u. Would u be ok?

U got ur own quirps and he's got his own.as long as u both can tolerate that u will be fine.

Rekha,

i think man has to pay for their girlfriend /wife dinners only if they r on formal DATE.
But for rest of the time they can just CHILL as they r with their best friends. it will not matter who will pay the bills. i think it will complicate the matter if u live ur life as formally and everything will be routine acts and everybody hates routine stuffs.
 

@Rekha
Isn't it convenient that girls want all negative bias gone, they want equality, but they want to retain the positive bias at men's expense? When it comes to everything else u want equality, on manners u want primal bias and privileges.

Did u notice u advocated on how he should be a gentleman and criticized him for not being one but never mentioned anything about how she didn't behave like a lady?

Useless guy. Break off with him.Seems like very selfish guy.

To my defense I said he should OFFER to pay. That does not mean he needs to pay, just a nice gesture. I'm also not saying that she was right for painting his face with lipstick, that's wrong thing to do but that was out of anger and she has accepted the fact the she was wrong and he is still willing to take her back.

I think the most important thing in relationship is friendship. I'm currently in a relationship with my best friend of 13 years. We were friends for long time and we started dating 5 years ago and now we're together and could not be more happy with one another. We have our ups and downs, sometime I acts like crazy and he deals with it and there are times when he goes all crazy and I deal with it. If you love each other you have to learn to deal with the good, the bad and the ugly and that's exactly what we do.

All I'm trying to say is accept one another for who they are, there are things that needs to be compromised in a relationship but you should not have to change who you are and your personality.

I'm tempted to start yelling, "Jerry, Jerry, Jerry" but unfortunately this discussion hasn't escalated quite to that point yet.

Dhiraja-ojha,

I understand that you are trying to be funny. My comment was to be funny also. But I felt that what you said was sort of unnecessary...and maybe even rude?

hey babal khate............how do you know that this person is even telling the truth and not just making some sort of attention seeking story.....???? i always am suprised by the comment few people give here as if wankeerss are so dammmn seriouse about everything...after all its just an story which you can either beleive it or not...me i myself dont beleive in this gubligakkk....

I agree with what you're saying Dhirraj. And you are right. Not everyone may be speaking the truth. And perhaps that annoys you. Which is fine. But sajha is a wonderful forum for those who are sincerely hurt. Many of us live in foreign countries and feel isolated from our culture and people. So sajha is a wonderful place for us to come and discuss our concerns.

Some people may abuse this, but I feel that there are many people who don't abuse it.

alrighhhtttt.....alrighttttttttt... i appologise.

That's easy - dump him.

A well educated and travelled guy can only be this insensitive if he has no intention of taking the relationship to the next level.

Good news is that there are still a handful of well educated and travelled guys (and oh they sometimes roam sajha spontaneously) who would NOT only pay for your dinner but would ALSO rub your feet and give you massages at the end of a hard days' work!

If you stop commenting nastily but as you have Penis in your picture, that is your brain and it portraits your level.

What should we , expect from this penis guy.  Do not apologies once you comment according to your level rather stop commenting and no need to apologize.

I think Java Beans made a good point. The guy might be well educated and well travelled but he sure acts immature. At the same time I think its a common sense to offer dinner or be aware of table manners specially being "well educated & well travelled". Also, if he puts friends before you that even to party out and doesn't put much effort in your birthday either, he probably doesn't care much about you. As far as being calm goes I think as a guy I wouldnt want to be treated as such specially if I know I am doing it right. Its either he doesn't care much bout the relationship or he simply hasn't experienced a realtionship before.

As far as your act, dont do anything like that ever again. :) Good luck and make decisions wisely. There's no time to loose and there're lots of good ppl out there!!

So, he forgot to take off the $4 price tag from the candle stand too? LOL

if u lyk the sex dnt leave him but if u dont then thrs no point in gttn bak cz the relation wnt last on the long run ..

Dimag Kharab bro. Funny yet very compelling analysis. the possibilities are very strong. anyway,ask your self one question, do you think you can share the rest of your life with this guy, knowing the way he is now?

I guess she can. Its the guy that i am worried about.."ab tera kya hoga kaliya" bhandaihola bicharo ...lol

He may be educated but he certainly is not wise, dimagkharab bhai, hehhe no, hes not dhoti, just some cheap european guy, boii i hate cheap people. He paid for coffee on the first date with a student discount card and everytime,i complain for not offering, his excuse is" oh u know, ima poor student, im in deep shit", dont understand if he has money to travel abroad, how come, he cannot even give a nice gift on my birthday or atleast offer to pay for a dinner. I would have understood if he really is a poor student like he says but the thing is that he is working and buys lots of designer clothes for himself. Now, i dont regret smudging lipstick on his face, cheap people like that tend to be selfish in most aspects of the relationship. 

hi bchic,

Well, I don't see any problem here. Since you are regretting for what
you did and missing him, it shows you still like him. Moreover, you know
that he still wants you back. This one can be solved if you dare to talk to him and find out what you guys really want.
But after reading your another post I came to realize that the situation is even more problematic besides smearing lipstick over his face. If you think the guy is "not wise" enough for you or "poor enough" who cannot even travel or pay your bills or lets say cannot offer gifts for you (seems like that's what entice you better) then -- -- -- there's no meaning of "missing" him. I mean you people are up to "dating" only. Isn't it? Not seriously in love.