I am curious to know how you feel at the time when you are having sex?I have promised to remain virgin before I will marry to my Mr.Right..is not it good? because of the some rumors that nepalese girls(not married women) living in the United States are kind'a sluts..I would like to prove that still there are some virgins outta here...soundz cool?

What is sexual misconduct?

If you don't have life long committed relationship and you are having sex, this is sexual miscondut.
If you have life long committed relationship and you cheat on your partner, which is also sexual misconduct.
Unnatural sex, self sex etc are also sexual misconducts, however, they are less intense than the sexual intercouse.

You might think that there is nothing wrong to have sex with someone you click with. But, it does psychological damage. The lust will kill you if you don't herness it. I have already mentioned that it is nothing less than the heroin.

If you do any form of sexual misconduct, you can not be happy; that is for sure.

What is disciplined sex?

If you have life long commitment with your partner and you have healthy sexual relationship with your partner only, that is disciplined sex.

Of course every sexual relationship will bring disturbances on mind, however, disciplined sex will bring harmonic disturbances which will not make you restless.

We are householders; can not live a perfect Yogic life. We have to have sex with our spouse, which should be disciplined sex.

Disciplined sex brings happiness and harmony in family where as sexual misconduct distroys the family.

Why should I follow the old fashion in 21st century where free sex is being icon of modern civilization?

Truth is free from space and time. It is true for all the times and true everywhere. Are you sure free sex is the icon of modern civilization? I have heard no scientist, no philosopher advocating for the free sex, they are the real leaders of the modern civilization.

There seems no harm to have sex with anyone you want. If it were this easy human civilization wouldn't have waited this long to discover it. There were many smart people in the past they would already have discovered.

Once you get addicted to sex you lose your welfare. If those who practice free sex were happiest people, prostitutes would aave been the happiest people in the planet. In the free western society, many people would have chosen prostitution as their livelihood. If free sex were healthier, doctors would have prescribed for you :).

Hollywood actors and actresses enjoy free sex. How is their private
life? Do they live happy harmonious life? Can they be the example householders to follow?

Scientist would have advocated for free sex if there were no harm.
Like many people are fighting for the human right, woman right,
similarly many people would have come to the street for the free sex
right.

They can't ask people to control sex as well. This might cause big
disaster like rapping in this fast moving world. They don't have alternative
of sex.

Sex is lust, it is passion. Lust and passion are negativities of the
mind. You can be lustful and passionate to someone and at the same
time you can be angry with him/her. Pleasure comes with anger too. Have you ever noticed this? It is poisionous!

Who is modern?

You can not say yourself modern just beacuse you can put on modern fashion, you can dance with modern song, and you can enjoy modern freedom. Driving car, puffing off cigeret, drinking alcohol can not make you modern. For every generation there is always modern time. In almost every single generation there are people who don't want to live a disciplined life. How can indiscipline be the icon of modernization?

To me modern means advance or developed. Qualities will make you advance and develop. Buddha, Jisus, Gandhi were old fashioned people, but their message is always new. They are real advance people, they are really developed people. Einstine, Faraday, Newton were old fashioned people, however, their discovery changed the human world. They were advance people. How advance you are will be measured by the inner qualities you have possessed not by the external features. To have good quality is the real icon of modernization.

Copying simple things like fashion, carefree life, music, free sex etc form the western world won't make you modern. You copy them because they are easy to be copied. Have you ever try to copy the machines which produce fashion wares? Have you ever tried to copy the technique to built a tiny little piece of silicon (MP3), which you listen to, stores hundreds of songs? You can copy which is non-productive, that doesn't make you modern. This is the time of realization for all of us.

Western world is not a perfet world, which is not the final form of houman civilization; it is still in experimental phase. I don't have words to appreciate the scientific gift of western world; it has made our life so comfortable. But comfort and happiness are not the same thing.

Some time ago, I was having conversation with a psychologist, a Harvard graduate working in US government project. Her project was to study the depression of young people of the age group 16 to 22. To my great surprise she told me that over 60% or so of this age group are found depressed. Why? They have food, shelter and cloth; besides that what makes them to be depressed? This is the age group which enjoy free sex; why sex is not being able to make them happy? Why over 60% high school students do drugs?

For us doing drug and being depressed is also modernization :).

Over 40% of first marriage ends on divorce in US. The average marriage life is 8 years in US. We want to copy this type of things becaue they are distructive, counter productive and simple to be copied. This is icon for modernization for us. American themselves taking these things as problems and they are seeking for the solution. This is the time to use our brain, we can distinguish what is right and what is wrong. Be very selective, dont' accept everything from the west by the name of modernization.

Lets be wise enough to accept Malaria vaccine and reject the AIDS

They are also human being like us. We need to have confidence on ourselves. Not only them (the westerners) we also can contribute to human civilization. There is a lot to contribute on our part.

interesting commentary on the modern life and sex.....but i think you should stick to yoga and buddhism....after all, true understanding can only be realized by oneself. as the buddha taught, you cannot bring a river to a thirsty person...what you are saying here falls under the category of suta-maya panya...it's a first step, but its not good enough...also intersting turn of events in the thread.

NO need for kama-sutra. Vishnu-sutra is right here in the sajha.

Zalim Ji, forgive me my friend, I couldn't write you yesterday. I wanted to finish what I want to say, however, I couldn't.

Glad to know that at least one person is reading my awefully long postings :). At times I thought nobody would be reading :).

Regarding the books you are looking for, I don't think I will be able to point out the right one. Vedas, I am reading online translation. Geeta, you can choose any one. Any translation is good. Once you will move on, you will be able to understand the Sanskrit, that will give you a real flavor of Geeta.

One thing I would like to alart you is Geeta is not an origional voice of an enlightened person. It is a scholarly artifact of Vyansa, where he has put his words on the mouth of an imaginary character, one of the mythological heros, Krishna. Geeta contains the truth, real discoveries of Buddha and Great Yogis; there is no doubt. But Byansa has manipulated the truth to give some worldly message. Hope you have enough Bhavana-mayi-pannya to see the opium seeds inside the sweet cake :).

Ya you are right, I sometime feel that I shouldn't write. First of all people won't read and understand my leanthy postings, and even if they read and understand, Srut Mayi Pannya will give nothing to them. At times I feel that I should write sometime. Things start from Srut-Mayi-Pannya, there will be some, who will understand Dhamma and try for Chintan to Bhavana mayi pannya. The truth for me is: Most of the time I don't want to write.

I have some friends who encourage me to write. I write for them too. More than that I write when I feel people will get benefited from me.

Regarding modern life, please don't hesigate to post if you have disagreement. I haven't concluded my posting. I must to it by tonight.

I started to write on this thread because I wanted to encourage people to observe Sila (morality). Abstaining from sexual misconduct is the most important Sila. Of course many poeple would be wondering, what am I talking to. If at least one person could realize the importance of Sila from my postings, I will think I have utilized my time.

My dear friend, time has come for me to leave Sajha. Eventhough at the last moment, I found a wise friend whose presence gave me a feeling of wormth. I hope to see you next time when I come back to Sajha. Otherwise world is very small place ................. :).

Vishontar

Conclusion:

To control sex is not unscientific. More you become liberal to sex more you get addicted to it.

Disciplined sex is the best. You have sex only with your partner with whom you have lifelong committed relationship. This will bring happiness and harmony in your life.

Happiness and pleasure are different; to get happiness you must leave or harness the pleasure.

You are not losing anything if you are not having sex. Those, who belive you are a loser, are object of compassion. Have compassion on them. It is same as if a drunkard come to you at midnight and said " dude you are a loser because you don't drink". It is same as a drug adict come high to you and say " dude you are a loser, you are missing heavely pleasure"

Don't make modernization as an excause of your weakness. There is nothing old and nothing new. Moral and immoral people exists all the time. There were majority of people at the time of Buddha who used to practice immorality. There were very few people who were moral. Since history talks only about moral people, don't generalize it. This is true for all the time.

To live a life of morality is difficult, that's why there were/are always few people to observe morality. However, without moral life don't except happiness in life. Immoral life may give you a lot of pleasure, but not happiness. Without morality mind doesn't get calmed down, and no happiness come from the restless mind. So if you have to choose morality and immorality, chose morality, it will give you long time welfare.

Virginity should not be a matter of pride; it should be a matter of responsibility. There will be no miracle if you have sex with a virgin, however, to remain virgin is self control, which is of course appreciable and an excellent job.

One should change the way of thinking. One should not think that one should remain vergin, instead one should think that one shouldn't commit sexual misconduct.

Never involve in sexual misconduct. If you have done, no regret, past has gone. Take it as a mistake and move forward with strong determination. If your spouse has committed sexual misconduct, don't make it psychological disease; forgive him/her, and move on for happy life. It is also a mistake liek any any other mistakes.

However, if you see no harm on sexual misconduct, you are challinging many discoveries. You will be responsible to your own action.

Be committed to your partner only, this will bring happiness in your family life. Never even think of the sexual misconduct, because every action get started from mind.

Never let emotions to overpower you. Always fight against them and never lay down. Emotions increase if you give more importance to them.

Don't treat your partner as a source of pleasure only. This is reality for many modern day couples, that's why they break up or divorce once they found they are no more pleasant to each other.

Conclusion:

To control sex is not unscientific. More you become liberal to sex more you get addicted to it.

Disciplined sex is the best. You have sex only with your partner with whom you have lifelong committed relationship. This will bring happiness and harmony in your life.

Happiness and pleasure are different; to get happiness you must leave or harness the pleasure.

You are not losing anything if you are not having sex. Those, who belive you are a loser, are object of compassion. Have compassion on them. It is same as if a drunkard come to you at midnight and said " dude you are a loser because you don't drink". It is same as a drug adict come high to you and say " dude you are a loser, you are missing heavely pleasure"

Don't make modernization as an excause of your weakness. There is nothing old and nothing new. Moral and immoral people exists all the time. There were majority of people at the time of Buddha who used to practice immorality. There were very few people who were moral. Since history talks only about moral people, don't generalize it. This is true for all the time.

To live a life of morality is difficult, that's why there were/are always few people to observe morality. However, without moral life don't except happiness in life. Immoral life may give you a lot of pleasure, but not happiness. Without morality mind doesn't get calmed down, and no happiness come from the restless mind. So if you have to choose morality and immorality, chose morality, it will give you long time welfare.

Virginity should not be a matter of pride; it should be a matter of responsibility. There will be no miracle if you have sex with a virgin, however, to remain virgin is self control, which is of course appreciable and an excellent job.

One should change the way of thinking. One should not think that one should remain vergin, instead one should think that one shouldn't commit sexual misconduct.

Never involve in sexual misconduct. If you have done, no regret, past has gone. Take it as a mistake and move forward with strong determination. If your spouse has committed sexual misconduct, don't make it psychological disease; forgive him/her, and move on for happy life. It is also a mistake liek any any other mistakes.

However, if you see no harm on sexual misconduct, you are challinging many discoveries. You will be responsible to your own action.

Be committed to your partner only, this will bring happiness in your family life. Never even think of the sexual misconduct, because every action get started from mind.

Never let emotions to overpower you. Always fight against them and never lay down. Emotions increase if you give more importance to them.

Don't treat your partner as a source of pleasure only. This is reality for many modern day couples, that's why they break up or divorce once they found they are no more pleasant to each other.

Unconditional love is real love. It can never be limited for one. It is for one and all. Your success in relation will never depend on the hotness of your spouse. It will always depend on the coolness of your spouse. If you give importance to hotness, since the temperature is relative term :), one of you will be colder after some time, and still hot one will look for another hot partner. If your partner is cool he/she will keep you happy. You will always feel satisfied, which will complete your life. Remember when people start relationship they give importance to hotness, once they spend sometime in relationship they give importance to coolness. So be cool, look for cool, if you want successful relationship.

Passionate love is selfish love. It is there till you remain the source of pleasure to you partner, otherwise gone. The love between to opposite sex is mostly passionate one, be
aware of it :

Everybody needs happiness. For that you have to cut off the passion. Slowly harness your passion and move for happiness. Since they are opposite, as much passion your will leave that much happiness you will get.

Start living disciplined life, which is scientific. Nature always have boundaries, don't cross those boundaries. Mind always wants to do something which yields no result, we shoult realize this.

Every mistake is done out of ignorence. Since we don't think of the outcome of our action seriously which is ignorence. Things which seems beneficial at the moment might be harmful for long run. Buddha discovered that people do mistakes because of the ignorence. While doing wrong thing they think they are doing right, that's why they do it. Modern philosopher accept that theory. So, be vigilent to your action, analize it, think of your action from different angle. If you find it wholesome, then do it.



Abstain from SEXUAL Misconduct, Live a healthy life, happy life.

The end.

hehe...vishontar bro(dun mind me calln u bro?ji might seem too formal so didnt type that...tho sayn bro also too common and might mean less of disrespect to some ;oP hehe and of cos plain just name..is well just too plain ;oP hehe...)

vishontar: " Glad to know that at least one person is reading my awefully long postings :). At times I thought nobody would be reading :)."

u be surprised who reads wahahaha..im not kiddin :o| anyways always nice to see long post..makes me feel more "belonged" re kya ;oP..tara cheers or sharing :oD...esp since u do put some effort on ur typings ;o)...well duh!!can 'see' lots of 'references' ni ;o)...and does makes sense unlike well duh!!we cant 'understand' everyone can we?;oP hehe...and well everyone cant understand us?:oS (ok i was referring to me!!sheesh do i have to make it that obvious ;oP hehe).....and oh yah ur conclusion was nice :oD...well if one does wat one conclude ;o)...and of cos me give benefit of the doubt ..dun take it the negative way hai hehe...and always nice to see an end ;o)....feels good to finish smthing hoina?esp after starting it ;oP hehe..

anyways dun stop ur blasting ur keyboard ;o)...

(dyam where did Sandhurst bro go to?still in festive mood?hehe hope so :oD)

cheers for sharing :oD..(tho me cheering might not mean a thing..sheesh who cares!!i cheer when i want to ok!:@ ;oP hehe).and if virginketi did read wat u wrote...hmm ke tha..she might forget about 'cool' and find it a 'hot' idea ;oP hehe...oh well lets not speculate...if only she answered wat she felt now ;o) hehe...

good day :oD

vishuji hami pani padirako chau ho yaha................sekdai chu tesaile naboleko.....certainly, it is working as eye opener...

dont stop mitra pls

Vishontar ...so very long :-(

long time no see :-) welcome back

will read this later on :-)

once you're in a relationship for more than a year, sex is bound to happen, unless u happen to get married within a year of dating. even a year is pushing it.all of u who say you'll stay virgins obviously haven't been in a long relationship(with freedom i should add). if u dont have freedon while in the relationship, yes you probably might stay a virgin because you don't have an oppurtunity to really do anything but if you do have freedom and are with someone for a long time,it's going to happen. just my opinion.

I agree with vishontar that one should abstein from sex unless you commit to a relationship completely and in our case - it is marriage. Here are some of my views:

- Humans are the only creatures that have mind, body and soul and when we have sexual relationship with another person, not only it is physical( body) but also our souls get tied and no matter what you do, you cannot get away from the relationship easily and it will definitely affecgt your another relationship you have.

This is reason of so many divorces in US and so less in Nepal.

- Another thing is only human have sex (make love) face to face. Rest of the animals do not look face to face so they can do with anyone else. So unless you are an animal, you would not want to have sex with everyone.

It is always good to have control over your body and really enjoy the relationship without sex before marriage because after marriage it could all about sex.

virginKT ,if u r really what u tell ,then I wish if I m MR.right.I luv virgins and if I may not b mr right for u then whoever he will b,he will b very lucky .......u promise urself to b virgin for ur man,awesom..ya that's the only one great prize u can give for ur man ,don't u wanna make him happy lol ...in a good sense .

"because of the some rumors that nepalese girls(not married women) living in the United States are kind'a sluts..I would like to prove that still there are some virgins outta here...soundz cool?"
Lol, There are sluts ( including married women ) and adult virgins in this whole wide world and Nepali girls are not exceptions. Staying virgin just to prove it sounds worthless, silly and stupid to me. Anyway, I hope that your curiousity will not lead in to the breakage of your promise.

I enjoyed reading your insides Vishontar bro(?). Thanks and bring it more if you have.

.

फलामको सांचोलाइ बराबर प्रयोग गरेन भने खिया लाग्छ
दिनौं ढोका भित्र छिर्ने र बन्द गर्ने गर्यो भने सांचो तल्किन्छ

घरमा मान्छेको आवात जावत भएन भने माकुरा लाग्छ
घरमा बस्ति भयो भने बिना हिटिङपनि गरम हुन थाल्छ

गुफाभित्र हावा पसेन भने भित्र भित्र बाट सर्दि लाग्छ
समयमा खाइएन भने केरा पनि कुहिन्छ, बिग्रीन्छ

.
फलामको सांचोलाइ तल्काउ! बेस्सरि झन तल्किन्छ
पंजा लगाउन चाहिं नबिर्सनु नत्र हातमा कालो लाग्छ
.

just because a person has sex b4 marrige doesn't mean she's a slut people. old school mentality.

Hey Scorpio
Wassup!

Agenda 1
BTW, you wrote
"
Just because a person has sex b4 marrige doesn't mean she's a slut people. old school mentality.
"
My response: who are you defending? ;P

Agenda 2
The topic is:
"
Is it good to remain virgin before marriage?

My response: NO! it SUCKS!! to remain virgin LOL!