I am curious to know how you feel at the time when you are having sex?I have promised to remain virgin before I will marry to my Mr.Right..is not it good? because of the some rumors that nepalese girls(not married women) living in the United States are kind'a sluts..I would like to prove that still there are some virgins outta here...soundz cool?

What is considered being good ?

If your physical and vocal actions are not harmful to you as well as to others, you will be called good.

What are physical and vocal actions?

Physical and vocal actions are offspring of mental action. They are mental actions which generate physical or vocal actions. Example: first anger arises in your mind (mental action).... which makes you to scold, to abuse (vocal action)..... and finally to beat (physical action). Physical and vocal actions are just follower of mental action. Physical and mental actions are servants of mental action.

To have your physical/vocal actions harmless, you have to have your mental actions (thoughts) harmless. If your mind is clean, your physical and vocal actions can not be harmful. But if your mind is dirty ie full of negativities like anger, hatred, ill will animosity, jealousy, greed, ego etc, it is impossible to speak sweet words and to act good.

So, mental actions (thoughts) are the root of all actions. Basically you will be considered good if your mind is full of positive emotions like compassionate love, good will, generosity, sympathy, joy, selflessness, helpfulness etc.

In fact if you analyze what we are,... is how we think. In other word: Mind is what we call "I"

In conclusion being good means to have clean mind. Dhamma is a dynamic technique which teaches how to clean the mind. Dhamma is all about cleaning the mind.

(I am sorry I really don't understand what do you mean by the last question? :) I mean go all out with it..?)

It does not really matter, its like finding or familiarize with a taset example ; sugar.


Does not matter whether you are married or not it tastes the same. But as you get older the you taste mechanism might not be that good.

Try it , feel it..decide it for yourself. Experience is better.

Sex and Marriage are two different things. One does not need to qualif other.

But don't end up with a geek if you remain to be virgin, its goin to be really boring if both does not know how to stir the sugar.

Just my Opinion.

virginketi: i am pretty sure u r a guy, but if i m wrong the only thing i would care in a woman in order of importance: 1)whether i m single or not , 2)looks (if u don't have it, u ain't got it) 3)personlaity (unless u r Aishwarya it really matters).....1123123124412) whether u r a virgin. Have fun. Always use protection.

am a pessimist
harbourer of negative emotions

what's do u think is the best approach in changing that

Emotions are states of mind. Count pessimism as one of your negative emotions!

You are a wise person because you know that you have negative emotions. You are wiser person because you are looking for the solution.

The best approach to change the negative emotions is Dhamma. You have to practice Dhamma dynamically. Dhamma is a scientific practice which eradicates negativities from the mind and fill the mind with positivity. I have been practicing myself; I am a live example.

I am also following buddhism. I am just anxious how many hrs do you give to dharma and which level are you at.

May be I can ask my question too. Hope it is not going to affect this thread. I will be very much thankful if VISHONTAR bro(?) have some answers or thoughts about it.

A lot of times, I feel so much connected to creatures, mainly human (mostly when I see them in dismay) that I see no difference within us. I feel like I, myself is actually him/her or s/he is me and it sometime kind of freaks me out. So then I try to analyze and understand their deep feeing, recognize their facial expressions, and sometime lost myself but then again, I ask myself, if so how come I don't know what s/he is thinking or what kind of real pain they are having? Is it just me or is it universal? Why do I feel separated even thought I feel we all are same unit? What is this sense of unity? I thought it is wise to ask these questions because I don't have reasonable answers.

DoofyJi, good to hear that. Practice is always there all the time. For example: any time you you realize you are doing wrong you abandon it immediately... its apractice. However, I give av. two hours a day to Dhamma explicitly.

Vishontar ji,

How can we practice Dhamma? if you could give us ideas for starters and for us to use it regularly, that would be great.
-regards

yeah i agree with you. You should always be at the realization of present moment.. right. i feel very fortunate to get into this path. But at most of the time i just cant concentrate myself into it. Is there anyway that i can build more faith and concentrate more.

Swantratatagami ji, you have a good heart that's why you think of those people. Life is miserable, not only their but ours as well. As compare to you they are more miserable, that is it.

I think we all are individual, each individual is sum total of his/hers Karma (mental volition). Karma is mental action, and every mental action is translated into result. This is the theory of Karma. We all have different mental volition that is why we all are different.

Buddha was asked this question. He was asked that why people were so diverse. He answered like this:

कम्मसका माणब सत्ता कम्म दायादा कम्मयोनि कम्म बन्धु कम्म पतिसरणम। कम्मं सत्ते बिभजती यदा हिन पणितताया ति।

Karma is the cause, Being is descendant of Karma, born with Karma, Karma is his friend, Karma is his refuge and it is Karma which divides beings into superior and inferior.

I hope you will find your answer inside this if not please don't hesitate to ask again.

Night crawler Ji I will post for you some other time. Please forgive me.. I got to go...

the only thing i know is u shouldnt do something to prove it to someone u should do it b/c it makes u feel good

i guess it's easily said that done :-)
ah well..

I was closely following this thread last year but I wasn't aware of its new developments. I'm glad to see many more participants engaging in positive discussion. Indeed, this thread has invaluable information – thanks to Vishontar ji.

From my own experience, I know it's very important to refrain from sexual misconduct. Because of peer pressure I once committed this sin. I got married and as Vishontar ji said above, I wanted to be honest with my life partner. One day I told her my side of the story. Besides being honest with my wife, I wanted the monkey off of my head. Before I finished my story, she started to laugh. She wouldn't believe that I did it. She doesn't believe that I could walk to a girl that I like and ask for a date – forget about getting laid. She is right that it wouldn't have happened had I not have a couple of drinks before that. She thinks that I'm bragging and it hurts me more. Now, I wish I didn't do it.

We tend to indulge in sexual activities thinking that it gives us pleasure and happiness. It is necessary, as Vishontar ji said, to follow the path of true happiness. Again, we have to be realistic – not everyone will follow this path. All of us have different state of minds. Those who have very sensitive minds will immediately correct their wrong paths whereas people with gross mind will continue to live in ignorance. Our minds have to be aware of subtlest realities to understand the true nature of happiness. Seeing four signs (old, sick, dead, and a yogi) has inspired Siddhartha Gautam to become the Buddha. All of us have seen those signs and they don't strike us. Another example – some of us are enjoying fighting each other and destroying the property of our nation in different names. Why? Because of the different state of our minds.

Why are we different? I watched 'Urja' a ZeeTV program of Acharya SN Goenka today. He gave an example of twin brothers – who are raised by the same family in the same environment, given the same education – yet they have completely different characters. He said it is so because their life didn't start here. It has been flowing for many lives and that gives different results to the present. However, we can change our future if we learn to become master of our present. We are all different – that's the beauty of our lives. We should not see outside to generalize whether any action is good or not. Instead, we should see our inner self and purify our minds. Truth is truth for all.

Makalu Ji, thanks for sharing your wonderful insight..... presence of friends like you brings happiness ....Marvelous is your experience! Dhamma works great because it is a science.

Those who seek happiness must have control over their mind... This is truth. To have control over mind you must live a disciplined life... undisciplined life will bring storm in your mind and you will lose control over it. ... This is science and is true for one and all.

Vshontar ji,

How can we practice Dhamma? if you could give us ideas for starters and for us to use it regularly, that would be great.

Nightcrawler Ji;

Dhamma is a practice of positivity. We all have enough wisdom to know what is right and what is wrong; what is wholesome and what is unwholesome; what is good and what is bad; what is productive and what is unproductive; what will lead us to happiness and what will lead us to misery. Do right don't do wrong...perfrom wholesome action and abandon unwholesome action ....Do good leave bad..., this is the practice of Dhamma. ... principally it is simple.

However, we don't have control over our mind, that's why we happen to do what is unproductive..unwholesome.. regressive. So, to learn how to have control over mind, you have to go through intensive training. There are such training schools all over the world....there might be one close to your area as well.. If you are interested you might want to check here.

Dhamma.Org

If you are really interested, don't hesitate to send me an email. I can provide you more information.

Yeah i agree with you. You should always be at the realization of present moment.. right. i feel very fortunate to get into this path. But at most of the time i just cant concentrate myself into it. Is there anyway that i can build more faith and concentrate more.


Doofy Ji,

The best way is self determination. Take a strong determination that you will continuously practice for one year and practice it. After continuous practice of one year you won't be able to leave it because you will get addicted to the sweetness of Dhamma.

It will be quite helpful to meditate with friends who practice regularly.

It will be quite helpful to read related literatures for motivation.

It will be quite helpful to go visit meditation centers more often.

it will be quite helpful to take longer/shorter courses frequently.

It will be quite helpful to be in touch with those people who are established in Dhamma.

I guess it's easily said that done :-)
ah well..

Cerine Ji, not yet but quite soon :). May I know you?

I dont have an answer to the question. However, I do think that it's BAD to remain virgin after marriage. LOL