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 Should I commit to her that I'd marry her after my bachelors?
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Posted on 01-18-13 12:23 PM     Reply [Subscribe]
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 Hi folks, thank you so much for the help you guys provided on my last topic...life always has something for us to make decisions about and here's another one for me...I always like to get suggestions and then only make my final decision...as I don't have keen folks here I love the fact that Sajha fills that void..please help me make this decision..

Actually, we have been in a relationship for quite a long time and her parents are always asking her to get married..my family also likes her but the only thing they are asking is that I marry her only after Im done with my undergrad..at first it seemed like her family wont wait for that long..I still have 2 semesters left...but now they seems flexible..so if I go to Nepal this summer and get engaged then they would wait for another year for us to get married..but I got stuck at one point..

I was thinking that as soon as I get my bachelor degree in the May of 2014 I would go and get married to her..but then I found that I would have to apply for OPT at that time..and that I cannot travel while my application is pending..and my parents wont allow the marriage in between my studies..also my visa is expiring in August of 2014..can I go to Nepal and come back in a month and then only apply for OPT..would they let me enter at the POE? what should I do friends? Is there anyway I can have my OPT pending or even running and I could go to Nepal? Please help!

Sincerely, 
Nepali Babu

 
Posted on 01-18-13 12:33 PM     [Snapshot: 21]     Reply [Subscribe]
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 Apply for your OPT in a timely manner so that you can receive it by your graduation and then travel to Nepal (and get married). I think you can apply for your OPT 3 months prior to your graduation. 
 
Posted on 01-18-13 2:39 PM     [Snapshot: 222]     Reply [Subscribe]
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 riddo is right :) 
 
Posted on 01-18-13 2:50 PM     [Snapshot: 245]     Reply [Subscribe]
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 so say if i get approved by may i can start working from july and travel in the time between?
 
Posted on 01-18-13 7:38 PM     [Snapshot: 522]     Reply [Subscribe]
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It is always best to do your bachelors while you are still a bachelor.


 
Posted on 01-18-13 8:44 PM     [Snapshot: 572]     Reply [Subscribe]
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If I would be you, I would go to Nepal and also get married after engagement in this summer. Since you are just a couple of semesters away from graduation, it doesn't really matter to me to get married before or after graduation. I don't think it's a wise thing to wait a long time to get married after engagement. It's from my personal experience. If you get married in this summer, you can let her apply for  F2 (student dependent visa) after preparing documents on your return back to US. If you prepare good documents and get lucky, she may come to USA by your graduation day. It's also one of her valid reasons for her trip to attend on your (husband) graduation ceremony and it also saves your second mandatory trip to Nepal just for the purpose of marriage. I brought my wife on F2 visa in 2006. I wouldn't take a risk to travel back to USA on OPT since we have heard a lot of stories at Port Of Entry. Just don't be that one. Good luck for your plan whatever it is.
 
Posted on 01-18-13 10:52 PM     [Snapshot: 698]     Reply [Subscribe]
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Nepali lahure said it all what i wanted to say. It is wise to get married this summer, and bring her on F-2.
 
Posted on 01-18-13 10:58 PM     [Snapshot: 702]     Reply [Subscribe]
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 thank you friends..i like what you advised nepali lahure and i wish i could do that..but i know my family under no circumstances would let me do that..they have said it clearly that i can marry the girl of my choice but only after done with my bachelors...and also i dont have any income here to show so wouldnt that be a problem in getting the F-2 for her..and yeah..she is also studying there and will be done around the end of 2013 so it would be only a few months remaining in my graduation...is there really a high risk travelling on OPT?
 
Posted on 01-18-13 11:07 PM     [Snapshot: 717]     Reply [Subscribe]
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 huna ta yo baabu to byaktigat bichar ho tara huda khada ko jawaani k barbaad parna laageko? Bachelors ni sakeko chaina re...k saaro hatar bhako ho bhai lai bihe garna.....masters sakne...deego jaagir khane....total ramailo garne ani po settle down garne ta.....dekhi dekhi kina kuwa ma haam faalna laageko bhai....harey shiva....bhagwaan le timlai sadbuddi diwoon! aagey timro marji!!!
 
Posted on 01-18-13 11:14 PM     [Snapshot: 721]     Reply [Subscribe]
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 haina lamopuri dai aba k garne..man milcha kura milcha..maya cha..chaine jati dherai jaso guna haru chan usma..respect garche..padhe lekheki che...herda pani sundar che..aba feri feri kaha paiyela yasto bhanera ni..huna ta ma single huda pani dherai keti tira dhyaan dine keta hoina..so sayad maile bihe nagare bhane pani dherai moz ta gardina hola..
 
Posted on 01-18-13 11:19 PM     [Snapshot: 733]     Reply [Subscribe]
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If you were living it up and doing fun stuffs, you'd be better off not getting married. Since you're already in a relationship, it'd be a waste of your youth by staying far apart. In essence, you're way better off getting married and bringing her over here. Just think about the things you two could do while pursuing your degrees and dreams, together. 

Like Nepali Lahure suggested, go home and get married. Why waste your money and resources by taking an extra trip just for the sake of getting married? 

Bihe chahin kaile ho? Next winter bhaye bhoj khana ma pani ai pugaunla, nimto ayeko khandama. 

 
Posted on 01-19-13 1:22 AM     [Snapshot: 829]     Reply [Subscribe]
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Bro my sugestion would be go Nepal and get engaged before you graduate. You will not have any problem in poe while you are studying. Once you get engaged i think that your gf family will wait for you. Also their family will have faith on you. Then complete ur education. Then on opt try to get a job and then go back to nepal to get married. Or wait till you get h1 and get married. Best of luck and best wishes
 
Posted on 01-19-13 8:58 AM     [Snapshot: 947]     Reply [Subscribe]
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 thank you folks for your kind suggestion..i would definitely consider all of these options and go with the best..for now i feel more inclined towards getting engaged this summer and marrying after graduating..but lets see how it goes...thank you again
 
Posted on 01-19-13 5:55 PM     [Snapshot: 1194]     Reply [Subscribe]
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 Brother,

I think there two things to consider - 
1. If you are planning to file for OPT and then leave the US to go to Nepal and get married, (I'm not sure) but isn't there a regulation that the applicant cannot leave the country while his/her application is pending or else the application is considered abandonded? [In certain applications like I-485 for PR, this applies, not sure if it is the same for OPT also]

2. If you are planning to sponsor your wife just a semester before graduation (about 4 months prior to your graduation) or during graduation on F2 as a dependent....I heard in some legal radio forum that the chances of getting a dependent F2 Visa are slim if applied in less a year of graduation.

My points are not to discourage you but rather to point out these things so that you can properly research and get the right information to make the right decision.

Good Luck to you! In my opinion, you should present the facts/regulations and convince them to grant permission for marriage earlier if that seems to be the right choice given your circumstances. 


 
Posted on 01-19-13 6:10 PM     [Snapshot: 1206]     Reply [Subscribe]
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 thank you supersixnine for you opinion..i am also thinking the same..i dont wanna apply for F2 for her since i know the chances are gonna be very slim...also i need to make sure i can come back to this country..i wonder if i can come back if the application for OPT is rather approved and not pending..again my visa will be expiring in less than 2 months when i come back...too much to consider..
 
Posted on 01-19-13 8:14 PM     [Snapshot: 1230]     Reply [Subscribe]
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Hey Bro,
It seems like you have already made up your mind not to get married in this summer and not to let her apply for F2 visa. But here are the facts. You can't sponsor her for the financial support since you are currently a full time student in USA. Either your parents or your parents in law can sponsor her for the F2 visa. And if you let her apply F2 visa right after the marriage in this summer, it will be around 1 year before your graduation. So, I don't think it will be a reason for the slim chance of visa approval. The good thing is that she doesn't have to fly to US right after her F2 visa issuance. She can finish her study until the end of 2013 and fly to USA whenever she is ready, probably before your graduation ceremony. My wife also applied F2 visa almost a year before my graduation and she was issued  5 years multiple visa (F2). I can't gurantee that your wife will also get  5 years multiple visa but I can assume she may get at least for a couple of years if she get visa approval. Once you get married, you guys don't wanna live separate for a long time. So, I think that it's a golden chance to give a try and bring her to USA. I know you also have an option to apply for her once you get your H1B visa. But it might take little longer since you have to graduate, apply for OPT, get H1B application approved.  It's your life and you have to make decision. Your parents are in Nepal and they don't know everything about your real situation. You are the one who has to deal with all these issues.  So if you think that getting married in this summer and apply her for F2 visa is a better option, you should be able to convince your parents for your good. I guess that your parent's condition of your graduation prior to your marriage is to motivate you for your graduation first so that you don't get distracted. If you think that you may get distracted with your wife being together before graduation, you can bring her at the time of  your graduation although she may have been issued visa already. 
If you are still confused about what could be your better option. You can spend some bucks and get an appointment with immigration attorney to discuss your matter about your immigration issues. Anyway I wish you good luck for your dicision.
 
Posted on 01-20-13 9:47 AM     [Snapshot: 1369]     Reply [Subscribe]
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hi friends..good morning..after thinking about all the options that i have...i think i have come very close to a decision..now if i get good feedbacks on this one..i think i will make this as my final decision..

i've thought that i would keep one easy course remaining for my graduation..and complete that in 2nd 4 week session in summer of 2014..which is around july 1st week starting date..and graduate in august...that way i can travel in 1st part of summer of 2014 and get married and can come back easily because i will have course remaining..in my home i can tell i have finished studying only the ceremony is in august and the degree comes later...that way i can join OPT when i come back and wont travel till i need to get stamp for my h1 visa...i think i can travel if my OPT is pending before graduation..am i wrong friends? 

what do you think of this idea? do you think there is a way to improve this?

thank you 

 


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